Letter to Dave

 

Dear Dave,

 

We are a fortunate family in that we’ve experienced mostly good health and happiness. The one thing we have lacked is a real, true celebrity in our midst; a fact which recently changed. Lisa was watching the evening news on channel 8 when she saw a familiar face, you wife Mary. I think the story was about Christmas present returns or something like that and there was a short clip of Mary during the segment. Dave, this is the kind of spontaneous notoriety people search for all of their life. You and Mary must take advantage of this new found celebrity and release a perfume or perhaps a line of clothing. A reality show would be good form also. Oh, that’s right, you both already have a life and dignity-I guess being famous for being famous won’t work for you.

 

You and I both like to scan farm classifieds on the internet. Although most farmers are pretty tame, I do see real, brazen acts of salesmanship every once in awhile on the classified sites. Recently, I saw one person was advertising a four wheel-drive tractor which had been “converted” to two wheel-drive. As four wheel-drive is much preferred to only two wheels driving, this is similar to “converting” an automobile into a bicycle. You’ve got to give him an “A” for effort and a wink and a nod for salesmanship, however.

 

Our brother, Darrel, recently finished up installing a new clutch on my tractor. It worked out almost perfect as he delivered it to our little farm less than 24 hours after my skid steer died. We simply unloaded the tractor and loaded the skid steer back up for a ride to his shop for repair. I will now focus over the next few weeks on breaking some other piece of machinery prior to the skid steer’s return so Darrel does not have to return to Argyle empty-handed. Never have costly breakdowns been so convenient-or fun.

 

I hope your Christmas was-well, how about celebratory. We enjoyed ours and regret not attending the Nelson’s family gathering however the Monday after Christmas was my day to work. I have enjoyed being “off-shift” during Christmas the last few years, however leap year will nudge me right back into working both Christmas and Christmas Eve’ in 2012. It is the one holiday during which I really want to be home but we will work around it.

 

If you noticed, Dave, I used the word “Christmas” seven times so far in this letter. I figured I should try use it as often as possible before I am silenced by the same crowd who wants the phrase “under God” removed from the Pledge of Allegiance. I’ve found each time I utter the word “Christmas,” the politically-correct crowd scream like they’ve had holy water thrown upon them. It is my way of letting them know I will not let them have a crack at my other cheek when they take a slap at our country and our many cultures with their cold, faithless and divisive words.

 

Merry Christmas, Dave

 

you’re little bro

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